I’m a Crappy Friend

11 Aug
Image from: vi.sualize

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a bad, lazy friend. There are some people that I see as often as I can. There are some that I don’t see often. And then there are the friends that I would like to reconnect with, but for some reason or another, just haven’t had the guts to reach out to.

There are two people from my past with whom I’ve reconnected this week and have made plans to see. I’m looking forward to seeing both, but was especially glad to hear from my friend P this afternoon. I’d like to think that he and I had a special relationship – this feeling may not be entirely mutual, but speaking with him tonight gave me some extra super-duper warm fuzzies and brought a huge flood of memories. In a different life, I had met him through some mutual friends and had instantly developed a huge crush on him. Soon after that we were hanging out a lot. Clubbing. Movies. Dinners. Late night coffees when we had nothing else to do and he would pick me up from home. Once, he took me to a wedding as his date, and a year later, he came with me to my friend’s wedding when I needed a date. I liked him a lot, in such a way that I wanted to hug him lying down. Though as my own friends got to know him better, they began to suspect that I wasn’t his type. It actually got to a point that it was laughable and we would debate. DEBATE!

Fast forward 6.5 years. Today, P told me that he and his boyfriend are going to be happily celebrating their 4th year anniversary this weekend.

My friends were right. I have a seriously malfunctioning gaydar.

A little egg on my face? Perhaps, but after all these years, it’s been wiped clean. We’ve stayed friends and occasionally text and chat on the phone, and kind of make semi-committed attempts at getting together. Why do we let so much time pass and how do we get to the point where it’s too hard to pick up the phone to chat for no reason at all? I’m reminded each time we talk that it shouldn’t be that hard at all. Life gets in the way and blah blah blah, but we all know the truth that the hardest thing to do these days is to NOT keep in touch. Email. Text. Internet. Phones that go with us wherever we go.

So really, what’s my excuse?

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One Response to “I’m a Crappy Friend”

  1. Leesh August 17, 2010 at 8:15 pm #

    You are not a crappy friend. If you think being a crappy friend is due to the lack of motivation to keep in touch with friends, well then we are ALL crappy friends. I am usually the one who will pick up the phone to catch up, drop an email to say hi or make plans to have dinner and drinks with an old friend but I have been lazy to make the first move. So, I too, am then a crappy friend.

    It’s tough these days to stay in touch but when you do connect, it’s awesome isn’t it? It’s like time has stood still and you just pick up where you left off.

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